Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Gal-Pal

We've all seen him. We've all felt sorry for him. Hell...most of us have been him at one point or another. You know him by the fact that he's standing next to all the girls before they all hand their purses over to him as they hit the dance floor. That's right...he's "The Gal-pal".

This poor poor fella is sadly mistaken into thinking that he has a shot with these girls because he is being so very nice. Not so my good man. If you had a shot...it was a looooong time ago way before the girls put you in charge of baggage claim.

Here's how it happens.

You run into the cute harpy that you met last week in the bar. You make small talk and start thinking she is suuuper into you...she even said it was nice to meet you (and nobody would say that unless they had very serious feelings)!!!! Before you know it you are telling her about this party you are going to this weekend and she and her friends should come. They do...but forget their wallets (enter pouting face) for a beer cup...no worries you will be her knight in shining armor and purchase a glass of the godly nectar for them (then they will definitely like you).

Next thing you know they need a ride home and you are the nicest guy they know and so you give them a lift. But wait a minute...no kiss...no flirting...dude...you are a glorified taxi cab with a party hookup for them. Stop running errands...stop fixing their computers...stop refilling their keg cup...trust me she isn't interested...she just likes the fact that you will do anything for her. So...instead focus on that girl that is jealous of all the attention you are throwing at the harpy and introduce yourself...bring her a cup...see what happens.

Now, I'm sorry to say that at one point in my own life I was a "Gal-Pal-User"....now this is where a girl uses her own Gal-Pal to get you something. I'm not proud of this but it was nice to just have this poor chap bring me beer....haha....yeah I can see the appeal ladies, but it's not mean to tell a girl to refill a cup herself. It's 2010 and girls almost make as much money as men!!! Feminism women! You can do it....I believe in you!!